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dr phil show
Dr Phil Episodes 12 || Dr Phil Season February 12 2019 " Destoni’s Drama: Will She Accept Help?"
Dr Phil Episodes 12 || Dr Phil Season February 12 2019 " Destoni’s Drama: Will She Accept Help?"
The kid shouldn’t be acting out the way she is but she’s not wrong in what she’s saying. This IS the mothers fault. The woman pins the blame for how the 14 yr old acts solely on the 14 yr old child, like she’s got no hand in creating that monster. Her acting out is the loudest cry for help I ever did hear, all that anger and rage is born from hurt and fear. She just doesn’t know how to regulate her emotions, she’s not ever had the proper parental guidance to learn self regulation, emotional stability and personal responsibility.
I am a mother of a 12 & 14 yr old girls. But because of the foundation they’ve had from day 1, consistent expectations, guidance, discipline and consequences, my girls would never ever dream of behaving this way. The only way a child can thrive is through routine, knowing what comes next... I wouldn’t ever throw my girls most important sense of security into a tailspin by threatening foster care, that is just beyond cruel. My heart hurts for that kid, she’s never had consistency.
I hope this center can help her, but more importantly I hope the counselors can help that mother to learn how to parent properly, if not for Destoni, then for the younger two daughters she’s currently raising wrong. I wish them all the best.
That girl is absolutely petrified of everything, she doesn't know how to handle it, so she acts out. 2 things I noticed, she talks like a toddler, even an immature 14 yo doesn't talk like that, #2 whenever something that is being duscussed scares her, she looks down at her lap, which then her hair hides her and she starts playing with her nails. When she looks back up is when all that gate spews out. I think she hates when she doesn't understand, but when she tries to articulate that Mom blows her off and that is when she starts with that behavior, she knows its the only thing that gets Mom's undivided attention. Yes, Mom, has more work to do than daughter! I mean really, who threatens their child with Foster care. That kid is not wrong about those things!
You know what, I actually sympathize with the girl here. Yes, her behaviour is outrageous, but it needs to be at this point. Her father abandoned her when she was little. Her mother is literally saying "I'm going to put you up for foster care", thus threatening with abandoning her too. Her mother literally destroyed this girl by not parenting her and now wanting to abandone her. She is 14, she is a human being, she wants to be loved and cared for, I bet she sees her sisters getting all the good attention and what does she have? An absent father and a mother who wants to get rid of her. Hell, I'd scream and kick too! I'm so glad she's getting decent help <3 I hope she thrives and succeeds and overcomes the traumas that she faced. She deserves that!
I had mixed emotions for this kid. One minute I hated her and wanted to slap her silly and the another odd time I felt bad for her! Obviously her behavior is a cry for attention. The more attention she was given, the more drama. We are dealing with a whole new generation and respect is long forgotten by this generation. The fact that she has no one to actually hold her accountable for her actions makes me wonder. Why wasn't she suspended at school? I hope that she gets the help that she needs but feel that all the attention is exactly what she wants. As parent and grandparent I couldn't help but notice the fake eyelashes, and fingernails and the piercing of her nose? This to me indicates that this kid has been given far too much and should be forces to spend some time with children and people that are far less fortunate than her?
why are there people/women in the audience yucking it up and cackling so loudly? Is this the way they think a Dr Phil audience is supposed to act? This spoiled girl is blathering things she thinks are edgy, cool and funny FOR the reaction and they give it to her. She's a brat and the more they cackle the more eye rolling, and face making and sarcastic comments she makes
A person that doesnt feel heard becomes loud. Each time this girl opens up a sliver of sincerity towards the mother the mother responds with an attitude and tries to correct how the child feels, and of course you clam up if a person you open up to is too busy correcting you to actually HEAR you. My mom always (jokingly) said "you shouldnt hear what I say you should hear what I mean" and I'd say this is exactly what this mother needs to learn. She doesn't hear the attitude in her own voice when she speaks to this girl but I hear it loud and clear. This child feels labeled a bad kid so at some point she decided "okay so everybody thinks I'm rotten, I'll give you rotten. I'll earn this title because it is all that is expected of me." She feels like nobody cares, so why should she care?
And here is a very huge truth. If you are a screaming parent you get a screaming child because you model how people communicate to one another and she has low vocabulary because she has just learned to be loud by modeling from a very young age. I know the mother did the best she could but this child is the product of her environment and I think Phil was right that she probably didn't have good socialization and maybe didn't see many adult interactions to see how adults speak to eachother and to mimic that. She never learned a more efficient form of communication, she learned screaming and that threats worked. Not only that but with younger siblings maybe she learned that being outrageous meant being seen and getting time with mom eventhough its negative attention it's still not being invisible and maybe feeling ignored. It's not the best way, but it worked. At the end she is absolutely petrified and I wish I could give her a huge teddybear to hug very tightly for emotional support in that moment. :/
This poor kid seems demented... Or al least not in touch with reality ... Sad. L'est hope they are able to help her. (Her mother is not perfect, no one is.. But she does not deserve all the trash talk she gives her... :-( )
Dr Phil Episodes 12 || Dr Phil Season February 12 2019 " Destoni’s Drama: Will She Accept Help?"
I am a mother of a 12 & 14 yr old girls. But because of the foundation they’ve had from day 1, consistent expectations, guidance, discipline and consequences, my girls would never ever dream of behaving this way. The only way a child can thrive is through routine, knowing what comes next... I wouldn’t ever throw my girls most important sense of security into a tailspin by threatening foster care, that is just beyond cruel. My heart hurts for that kid, she’s never had consistency.
I hope this center can help her, but more importantly I hope the counselors can help that mother to learn how to parent properly, if not for Destoni, then for the younger two daughters she’s currently raising wrong. I wish them all the best.
Every time she makes that face I want to smack it right off of her. I know that’s not going to help, but it would make me feel better. 😂
But seriously, I see some disassociation tactics by her looking off into the distance, playing with her nails, and just not showing interest. Also when her dad was brought up I could see there was some pain trying to come through, but she suppressed it.
That girl is absolutely petrified of everything, she doesn't know how to handle it, so she acts out. 2 things I noticed, she talks like a toddler, even an immature 14 yo doesn't talk like that, #2 whenever something that is being duscussed scares her, she looks down at her lap, which then her hair hides her and she starts playing with her nails. When she looks back up is when all that gate spews out. I think she hates when she doesn't understand, but when she tries to articulate that Mom blows her off and that is when she starts with that behavior, she knows its the only thing that gets Mom's undivided attention. Yes, Mom, has more work to do than daughter! I mean really, who threatens their child with Foster care. That kid is not wrong about those things!
You know what, I actually sympathize with the girl here. Yes, her behaviour is outrageous, but it needs to be at this point. Her father abandoned her when she was little. Her mother is literally saying "I'm going to put you up for foster care", thus threatening with abandoning her too. Her mother literally destroyed this girl by not parenting her and now wanting to abandone her. She is 14, she is a human being, she wants to be loved and cared for, I bet she sees her sisters getting all the good attention and what does she have? An absent father and a mother who wants to get rid of her. Hell, I'd scream and kick too! I'm so glad she's getting decent help <3 I hope she thrives and succeeds and overcomes the traumas that she faced. She deserves that!
I had mixed emotions for this kid. One minute I hated her and wanted to slap her silly and the another odd time I felt bad for her! Obviously her behavior is a cry for attention. The more attention she was given, the more drama. We are dealing with a whole new generation and respect is long forgotten by this generation. The fact that she has no one to actually hold her accountable for her actions makes me wonder. Why wasn't she suspended at school? I hope that she gets the help that she needs but feel that all the attention is exactly what she wants. As parent and grandparent I couldn't help but notice the fake eyelashes, and fingernails and the piercing of her nose? This to me indicates that this kid has been given far too much and should be forces to spend some time with children and people that are far less fortunate than her?
why are there people/women in the audience yucking it up and cackling so loudly? Is this the way they think a Dr Phil audience is supposed to act? This spoiled girl is blathering things she thinks are edgy, cool and funny FOR the reaction and they give it to her. She's a brat and the more they cackle the more eye rolling, and face making and sarcastic comments she makes
A person that doesnt feel heard becomes loud. Each time this girl opens up a sliver of sincerity towards the mother the mother responds with an attitude and tries to correct how the child feels, and of course you clam up if a person you open up to is too busy correcting you to actually HEAR you. My mom always (jokingly) said "you shouldnt hear what I say you should hear what I mean" and I'd say this is exactly what this mother needs to learn. She doesn't hear the attitude in her own voice when she speaks to this girl but I hear it loud and clear. This child feels labeled a bad kid so at some point she decided "okay so everybody thinks I'm rotten, I'll give you rotten. I'll earn this title because it is all that is expected of me." She feels like nobody cares, so why should she care?
And here is a very huge truth. If you are a screaming parent you get a screaming child because you model how people communicate to one another and she has low vocabulary because she has just learned to be loud by modeling from a very young age. I know the mother did the best she could but this child is the product of her environment and I think Phil was right that she probably didn't have good socialization and maybe didn't see many adult interactions to see how adults speak to eachother and to mimic that. She never learned a more efficient form of communication, she learned screaming and that threats worked. Not only that but with younger siblings maybe she learned that being outrageous meant being seen and getting time with mom eventhough its negative attention it's still not being invisible and maybe feeling ignored. It's not the best way, but it worked. At the end she is absolutely petrified and I wish I could give her a huge teddybear to hug very tightly for emotional support in that moment. :/
This poor kid seems demented... Or al least not in touch with reality ... Sad. L'est hope they are able to help her. (Her mother is not perfect, no one is.. But she does not deserve all the trash talk she gives her... :-( )
